Bunraku Seirei

Yawn.

CRASH BOOM BANG.

All right, I am awake now; thank you, caps lock.

That is a lie. I used shift.

You never know what you've got till it's gone, and in this case, it's free time. Well, the excess of it that summer allowed. Back in June I had entire globs of it, and had globs and globs all the way until the end of August. Suddenly there's a huge vocab test tomorrow and midterms next week--I have two--and loads of things to study and do, and then NaNoWriMo. I don't enjoy studying. Homework, when you do it, it's done. Studying, you never really know when you're done, because there's always that one little thing that might be on the test, so you go over it fifty times in your head, and then you can't just stop going over it. You have to keep remembering all the things that you studied up until the actual test.

That gets very tiring after the first five minutes. I don't enjoy having to run over my little remembering-chants all day. My poor little brain needs a rest sometimes, no? I should hug myself.

Self, do you feel better now?

Self says no.

Today was a pretty fantabulous day, mildly fantabulous in that it wasn't OMB SO AWESOME but it was mucho better than some days have been. This morning I talked to Jeremy in the library, and then we watched a movie during second block (even though I'm not a fan of Stand and Deliver), and then I talked to Jeremy again before third block, and then I hugged Kyle half to death during lunch, and Pavel has made it a habit of giving me a cookie, so that makes me happy, and then on the bus--deep breath--I was talking to Chris and then this guy John who's pretty cute in a geeky nerdy sorta way, and he's interesting too. I mean, this one girl sorta makes fun of him 'cause she says he elaborates too much when he talks, but I find him interesting. He was listening to Swedish music. His name is John. I said that already, didn't I?

So John and Chris and I were talking about horror and slash movies, and Simon was like looking all into it but he didn't say anything. He never says anything! He's always looking (v cutely, might I add) but never actually putting in his two cents.

SIMON. You listening? I want your two cents. Here, let's trade pennies.

But at one point, Simon said something about Spanish and I totally missed it. Heh. I was saying something, then Chris tapped me and had to repeat what Simon said.

Actually! Let's put it in fiction form! Short, non detailed fiction!

xXoOoXx

"So like, yeah." I grinned. John was still smiling when I leaned against the window. Content? Oh yes. In fact--

Tap. I popped my head over the side of the seat to see Chris pointing over his shoulder. "Simon said, 'what'd you get on the Spanish test?'"

Simon was looking at me. Well, staring because my answer had yet to be given--and I noticed yet again the elongated slant of his eyes, the darkness of them, the clairty. I pretended not to be in love with him. Because I'm completely over that, dontcha know? I made a face. "Which test?"

"The one we took today," he said, slowly, as in, are you a bit slow today, Morgan, or am I missing something?

"Well." I smacked my lips together. "I haven't gotten that one back yet"--of course--"but I think I did all right. What about you?"

He smiled. When he smiles, his mouth wrinkles near the edges and the corners of his eyes crinkle like the pink tissue paper in a Valentine's Day basket. "I think I did pretty well. I mean, I have a ninety-eight in that class, so..."

I sunk down, down into my seat. Ninety-eight. I was struggling to scrape an A to avoid the wrath of my parents, who had yet to accept the fact that I wasn't born Asian, sorry mom and dad. My hand just peeked over the edge of Chris' seat, my words like the last of a man sinking, about to drown. "I am never talking to you again. Self esteem, plummeting."

But what I was really thinking, of course, was, I'm trying not to love you. Don't make me regress.

xXoOoXx

Well, at the time it seemed amazing.